This song was about my first few months of trying like crazy to "break into the scene" and get people to notice me. Specifically, it was about interactions with various males who (A) thought they were the cat's pajamas and the next big thing and (B) thought that the best way to impress me was to tell me how beautiful I was and to "help me" with the sound by turning my guitar up way too loud (girls don't play hard, right?). It's also just about general male-female discourse in which men weren't talking to me, they were talking to A Girl, and though I was frustrated and annoyed by this, I didn't know what to do other than just go along with it.
sincere
you said i liked the middle one best
and i said thank you and your eyes are brown, and i forget what comes next
but unfazed you spend the evening making jokes
comparing different brands of cigarettes and i never tell you that i don't smoke
so now you think i do
and you think i don't mind when you say
that all those boys on the radio need to learn how to play
and you think that your hubris is so justified
'cause you're so indie you're so undiscovered you're so male, therefore so self-satisfied
i don't know why you think you can see me through
all of this trying, when i can't see you
and i don't want to change myself for you
but i do, and i do, and i do, and i do, and i do
and you say the unadorned human body is such a beautiful thing
yeah, then you snicker, then you make it ugly, and i'm supposed to laugh or something
and you talk about sex like i'm supposed to think you're weird, so i get
to feel weird for not thinking that you're weird, how fucked up is that, then you offer me a cigarettee
i don't know why you think you can see me through
all of this trying, when i can't see you
and i don't want to change myself for you
but i do, and i do, and i do, and i do, and i do
and if you like me now
it won't be on my own terms
and when i see you on friday, i'll smile, but i won't know half what to say
but something will surely take over, it's dreadful, but i'll sound sincere when i say...
yeah i like your new song a lot
yeah we should do something together sometime, yeah why the hell not
and everything, everything you've been saying to me so far
had been leading up to this beautiful moment, so free of faux pas
so free of something real
i don't know why you think you can see me through
all of this trying, when i can't see you
and i don't want to change myself for you
but i do, and i do, and i do, and i do, and i do
and when i see you on friday, i'll smile, but i won't know half what to say
but something will surely take over, it's dreadful, but i'll sound sincere when i say...
copyright rorie kelly 2005
