Yesterday I had a kind of “down” night and the most productive things I could bring myself to do were take my delicious chocolate-flavored calcium supplements, eat some pasta, drink some Mike’s Hard Berry, and surf. I think I might have even filled out a myspace survey.
Most intriguing web-destinations have been www.feministing.com, www.realmsofdespair.com, and assorted Wikipedia articles relating to the history of sexuality.
Something you may or may not know about me: I’m really interested in sex. I’m sure a few snarky remarks are forming in your cute lil heads as you’re reading, but let’s all raise our general consciousness for thirty seconds (really, you can go back) and take on sex as a serious subject.
I think sexuality is one of the rawest, most psychologically revealing parts of a person’s personality. I firmly believe that nice people who believe in equality are better in bed than apathetic people who stand by their lameass status quo. And I am as opinionated, if not more so, about sex as I am about everything else.
Some miscellaneous opinions:
Sex is great! I think it’s really sad that a lot of people are just dying to put a damper on the sexuality of each new incoming generation. I strongly believe in safe sex and in accurate sex education, and I really don’t think that that has to be a negative experience. I think a lot of people want to put together sex ed curriculums for teenagers that are like “Here’s the story on sex: if you have it, you’re probably not ready for it and you’ll probably get yourself or your partner totally pregnant and get AIDS and give it to your kids and be poor and sad forever. There are a few products out there to make sex safer (which we may or may not even discuss depending on what state we’re in) but you’re much better off just NOT HAVING IT ever (oh, but chill out once you’re married, the risk magically disappears)! Have a nice day, please write a paper on the symptoms of syphilus.”
I really think it’s possible to get on an eye-to-eye level with teens and talk honestly with them about the dangers of sex and the fact that it can be beautiful and fulfilling and is nothing to be ashamed of. I think we need a really, really big national campaign combatting shame in adolescents. It’s just not fair. The message that we’re throwing at the youth of America seems to be “you’re going to get all these crazy hormones telling you to do CRAZY things! it’s hell! Don’t give in, if you do you’ll be extra sorry kthxbye.” Can we possibly revise that message?
Let’s get real about access to family planning and sexual health services. I think it’s really scary and creepy that many states have laws requiring parental notification and/or permission before a young woman can get things like: a gynecological examination, a pregnancy test, an STD test, hormonal birth control, an abortion. This, like abstinence-only sex programs, guarantees that young women who have sex are going to do so armed with less information and less safety.
Speaking of gender: How about the fact that young men are bombarded with the message that their hormones are running wild and they will naturally want to have sex with anything that moves, and that that’s totally normal, and that young women are (still in 2008?!) bombarded with the message that if they are openly interested in sex, or even dressed a certain way, they’re sluts and hoes? This is really doing a huge disservice to both genders, giving young men a false idea that they can’t control themselves and are ruled by base urges, and giving young women a false idea that there’s something wrong with them if they are interested in sex.
Speaking of gender part II: I find it pretty astonishing that most sexually acticve women are aware of, and open to, a variety of sexual experiences that lead to pleasure for their male partners–but that many sexually active men AND WOMEN remain somewhat ignorant of the female anatomy, how it works and how to make it feel pleasure. Even amongst those who are not ignorant of it at all, there is this issue of being uncomfortable around sex acts that center mainly around female pleasure and not so, or not as much, with ones that center mainly around male pleasure. That’s lame. Sexual education should include an accurate understanding of how arousal and orgasm occur in both the male and the female, in my opinion.
By the way, the last paragraph focused mainly on heterosexual sex and that’s lame, and is a microchasm of the huge huge huge amounts of lameness that assault young people of alternate sexualities. There is so little effort to be even the least little bit inclusive in education and just the general media–I do not know a single LGBT individual (myself included) who did not go through puberty with a despairing feeling that something was wrong with them. That sucks.
Oh, and masturbation. The much funner (and equally safe) alternative to abstinence. Please please can we stop making people be afraid of their own bodies?
What are some of your-all’s thoughts about sex and sexuality?