So a few months ago I managed to step on my own glasses and break them in half (don’t ask). At the time, it warranted a brief panic followed by a midnight trip to Pathmark for some krazy glue. Which worked like a charm.

This morning, they fell off my dresser and promptly broke again. This time, the krazy glue didn’t work.

So I spent the day at Pearle Vision spending a whopping $505.97 on new glasses. (To be fair, I got a pair of prescription sunglasses with this, but that is actually NOT included in the price because the wonderful sales woman found a way to give me 50% off the order.)

FYI, my glasses did not cost so much because I just had to have the designer-est, brand-iest frames. They cost so much because my eyes are so incredibly bad that they have to do some magical thin-the-glass process, just to make the lenses be able to fit in the frames.

$500 for glasses.

I am a woman who won’t spend more than $10 on a pair of jeans. No matter what. Ever.

Further, because they have to take the time to do this magical thinny process, I have to wait a week to ten days to actually get my new glasses. So I’m sitting here with my old glasses taped together and drooping off my face periodically. It makes it pretty hard to judge distances of things, actually.

Like YAYYY.

So, if anyone feels like seeing me stumble around in public with tapey glasses, I’ve got two shows this weekend — Friday night at Vox Pop (1022 Cortelyou Road in Brooklyn) starting at 8, and Saturday night at the Pisces (14A Railroad Avenue, Babylon — I go on last).

Note: approximately 45 seconds after this picture was taken, my glasses fell off my face again.