“I’ll just do a big survey!  Then I’ll know all about what makes people see live music and everything will be easy!”

I have spent the past several hours poring over an Excel spreadsheet.  I really have no experience like… organizing data.  My neck freakin’ hurts.

That being said, cause me more neck pain and take the survey.

Let me preface this by saying: I’m a viciously loyal Mac customer. When I meet someone who’s computer savvy and still prefers Windows, it causes me to have serious doubts about their sanity. Macs are great. They’ve always utilized memory and hardware far better than DOS and Windows ever did, and they’ve always been a step (or ten) ahead of Microsoft in terms of innovation, GUI, and performance.

I’ve been a proud Mac user since they were black and white and there was that awesome Pyro! screensaver where the fish ate each other. (By the way, Apple? That new aquarium screensaver, where you hear the bubbles and there’s a lionfish and the starfish moves so slowly and it looks SO REAL? It’s incredibly awesome. But why aren’t the fish eating each other?)

So I ask you this, Apple:
Why won’t you sell me a charger for my Powerbook G3?
Yes! It’s an old computer. I fully agree. It’s a good six or seven years old. But may I also point out that it runs every single most current thing, right up until you released Leopard (which I can’t afford right now anyway)–and it still runs it better and faster than a brand new, much more tricked out PC running Windows Vista?

It’s a great computer. Which is good, because frankly, I couldn’t afford a new Apple laptop right now. If I had to let it go, I’d be forced to buy some fixer-upper non-mac laptop and put Linux on it. Which, by the way: most of your loyal customers (you know, the ones who were with you when every single computer store stopped selling Apple stuff and everyone thought your company was dead, dead, dead–not the hipsters and teenyboppers who signed on gleefully when you released the Ipod) are smart enough, and willing enough, to do just that: buy some piece of junk computer and turn it into a Linux superstar and therefore establish themselves as open-source, independent people who support neither the Democrat, nor the Republican of the bipartisan computer world–people who, indeed, demand a third choice and will make it ourselves if it’s not made available to us.

But frankly? I don’t want to do that. I’m still a registered democrat, despite my reservations–hell, I even threw my vote behind Kerry–and I do believe that Apple is not a faceless, evil company, and further, I love their products. I even love the Iphone. I just wish I could buy it without AT&T passing off my phone conversations to the government, or me passing off my soul to freakin’ T-mobile. And, you know, if it was affordable–that would be cool too.

So why are you making it hard for me to like you? Why is your website harder to navigate than Medicaid’s bureaucratic phone system? Why do you let third-party companies take business that I would have been happy to give to you if you had only kept making a part for my seven-year-old computer–which is still working GREAT solely because your computers are awesome? Why, if I have a problem with a newer computer, do I have to denigrate myself to making an appointment with the Genius Bar–a bunch of hip kids in ringer T’s with tricked-out Iphones who don’t remember the awesome Pyro! thing where the fish ate each other?

Why did you come out with Java6 and make it compatible only for Leopard users–months after some nice open source guy came out with a Java update we could all use? What’s happening? Do companies really have to become crappy and soulless as they get successful? I don’t want to believe that–I want to believe that someone with a good product and good customer support can go on to become a big huge successful company and blow asshats like Microsoft out of the water–without, themselves, becoming an asshat.

Is that possible?

Today, December 28th, my mom was born.

She’s great.  She brought me up to respect and believe in myself, and she showed me by example how to take on any goal I got it into my head to achieve.

She’s an accomplished artist, writer, musician, and photographer.  She’s a breast cancer survivor, and a survivor of a whole lot of other life stuff too.  I’m really proud of her and I love her very much.

Happy birthday, Mom.

It feels so good to play songs until one or more of your fingers start to give way and you have to stop.

I’m playing with this girl Sammie on Monday. She’s a myspace friend; I don’t remember who friended who, but she’s this teenager who’s really into music and writing songs, and apparently also really into my songs. She reminds me a lot of me seven or eight years ago, except that I think she’s kind of Christian. But I guess that’s neither here nor there.

She sent me a really sweet email a few weeks ago, of the sort I would send to Tegan and Sara or Amanda Palmer — like, “thanks for your music,” basically. And I saw that she wrote songs and lived in New Jersey, and on the spur of the moment invited her to play a show with me in Allendale on the 30th of this month. Despite the possible ill-advised nature of inviting someone you’ve never heard to play a show with you, I think I’m going to be really glad I did it. She’s way excited, and she’s singing with her twin sister, and asked that they be billed as “Sammie and Brie.”

In other words: I’m playing a show with a band made of twins who go by their first names only. This just feels like good luck for me, you know?

And it feels good to be able to do. I still have fantasies of my favorite musicians magically hearing of me and inviting me to play a song or two with them. It’s nice to be able to give someone an experience like that.

Somewhat relatedly (specifically for this gig, at least) I re-learned one of my own songs tonight. Tsunami Song — yeah, check that out, I wrote it three years ago; randomly put it on my myspace page earlier this year, and have started getting requests for it. And all this time, I’ve had to refuse repeatedly because I forgot how to play it. I’m a total bum. So I re-learned it, and then I learned The Con (update: it’s still the best song ever), and then I started writing a new song. It’s been a productive Boxing Day.

So here’s the latest project…

I made a Big Bad Music Survey and I would really, really love all of you to fill it out–and pass it on to others to fill out too.  I’m basically trying to get a concept of where people go to see live music, how they find out about music, all this kind of stuff–for obvious reasons, because I’m an independent musician.  I’m promoting myself and it will help me to know.

But as I’m kind of incapable of doing anything just for me, I am also making it kind of a public service–results are available to anyone who fills it out.  I’m keeping all the names and emails private, but will share the answers to the rest of the questions with whomever wants them, as soon as the survey is done and I’ve tabulated the results.  I’m thinking mid-January sometime–I want to have a decent sample, so possibly later than that depending on how many people fill it out.

Anyway: please, please go fill out my survey.  It will only take you a few minutes and it will be invaluable to me and other independent musicians.

 rorie’s Big Bad Music Survey

hearts,

rorie

The iPond Combines iPod Shape, Fish Abuse in One Package

I wonder why it is that we overwhelmingly torture betta fish over all other fish.

I mean, I guess the way they import saltwater fish is pretty horrible. But I really think our cruelty to betta fish takes the cake.

In leiu (sp?) of having anything interesting to say tonight, I’ll simply refer you to this cool blog I just found out about:

http://blog.shrub.com/

The holidays are usually a reflective time of year for me. The past few years, they’ve also been a pretty broke time of year. I’ve just not had enough money for too long now… I’m glad that my business is picking up now enough that I’ll be like, financially stable again soon.

Maybe the broke-ness fosters reflection. I share a lot of people’s opinion that a majority of holidays are way too commercialized, and that there’s way too much pressure to drop a lot of cash on gifts, as if (A) everyone can afford that, and (B) if you can’t afford that, you somehow don’t care about your loved ones enough or something. On the other hand, it’s really a rough feeling to want to do something nice for the people you really care about and just totally lacking the ability to do so. I’ve always tried to be the kind of gift-giver that figures out the gift that will really mean something to you, instead of picking something easy that you’ll probably like or just asking you and getting you whatever you say. (Global “you” here.)

I totally can’t do that when I literally don’t have any money to spend. I’m not doing a totally crappy job on presents this year, but I’m mostly making things I know my family will appreciate. I envision stuff in my head that would mean a whole lot to my mom, my sister, my dad, my boyfriend… and I just can’t do it. And I get so excited about giving someone a good gift that it’s like, “Well, can’t the holidays just come in March or something? I’ll be ready by then for sure.”

Maybe all that is why I don’t find the gifty part to be super meaningful for me this year. I already don’t particularly have a holiday to associate it with: my non-religious family celebrates Christmas out of tradition and I’m fine with it, but if it were up to me to create my own tradition, I would reassign gift-giving and important togetherness to the solstice or something. I really don’t like aligning myself with Christianity, even if it’s just out of convenience–I feel it’s an insult to me and an insult to the religion I don’t believe in.

Thanksgiving always feels pretty important to me. When I was younger my mom made a big thing of us all talking about what we were thankful for, and that habit has stuck with me even after it stopped being a regular featured event. It feels really good to focus on progress that has already been made, on hurdles that have already been cleared. It’s not something I allow myself to do much. Those who know me know I’m ambitious and kind of an obsessive workaholic about my ambitions.

New Year’s I think is going to be pretty important this year too. I’ve made so many changes in my life in the past two years, and I’m starting to feel forward motion–finally, after years of pushing and pushing for it. I want to celebrate that and I want to take the time to painstakingly, Virgotastically ennumerate for myself the best ways to keep it going forward. I can’t wait. I think 2008 is going to be a really great year. And it’s long overdue.

money I haven’t had a lot of it, for a long time. This month I’m celebrating the fact that I’m DEFINITELY going to be able to pay my rent. I’m also reflecting on how messed up it is that I’m a musician, and it’s like… my life… and yet I’m rarely able to afford to buy new music. I think I only bought five records in total this year: Rufus Wainwright’s Release The Stars, The Dresden Dolls’ Yes, Virginia, Brandi Carlile’s The Story, Miles to Dayton’s rise, and Tegan and Sara’s The Con.

speaking of The Con… I can’t get enough of this album. I bought it last week, slyly utilizing a Borders Rewards coupon that gave it to me for $10.99, and I’ve been eating, sleeping, and breathing it.

Tegan and Sara are so important to me for so many reasons. They’re personally responsible for a great deal of my development as a musician. The fact that every one of their albums sounds so different and yet so totally theirs speaks to me of incredible musicianship, despite assorted people who insist to me that their first album was their best one. (Assorted people seem to feel that way about every single indie band, ever. You know what, guys? Get a grip. People evolve as musicians. Handle it.)

Also, not to be like every single fan here, but… their songs are my life. I listen to their lyrics and I’m like, “Me too, me TOO!” It’s extremely comforting for someone who’s never felt particularly normal or understood, emotionally.

speaking of feeling understood… My friend ChAka said something once about a song I wrote, which I’m sure I will do a terrible job paraphrasing… The gist of it was that when he heard me play that song it was like he got a glimpse into my head and he felt like he knew me better than he really did.

Here’s the thing: he was dead on. I’m getting the impression that it’s about a million times easier to get to know me through my songs* than through like… spending time with me. Having a relationship with me. Loving me. I’m not sure what my deal is–I guess I’m not easily readable; I’ve certainly been told I’m not easily readable. I make efforts to explain myself when asked, but don’t necessarily spill my guts to most people unless I’m feeling something so intense I can’t deal with it. And when I try to explain myself, it still… doesn’t always work. People don’t always get it and I don’t always know how to adjust my words to make them get it.

Songs are another story. Maybe because they’re my only real outlet (though how are they any different of an outlet than, say, writing in my journal?), maybe because I’m just better at expressing myself in a less restrictive format than sentences and paragraphs. I really don’t know. But I know I’ve said the wrong thing lots of times, in conversation, and later realized I didn’t express myself adequately. I never, ever feel that way about a song.

*And, uh, Tegan and Sara’s. Especially Tegan’s.

So here’s my story: I decided I wanted a blog for my website like six weeks ago. I downloaded a bunch of files for wordpress and spent approximately two minutes trying to integrate it into my site and then said, “Wahhh, I’m a web designer for a living but I’m too lazy to figure this out,” and left it sitting there.

Then I did it tonight in about half an hour. Congratulations, self: you’re not stupid, you’re just really lazy.

Anyway, here’s the story on me: my name is rorie kelly. This blog is going to be my spot to publicly download my mind, tell you what’s going on in my oh-so-glamorous life, and post new creative stuff as it happens.

I’m making a resolution to post something new and exciting every day. I kind of stole the idea from Andrew Jimenez who recently made a vow to post something creative every day to his blog. I’m not promising new creations every day though… Just new something. An update on my state of mind, something in the news I want to share, something pretty I made in Photoshop, a list (I’m a big fan of lists), new lyrics, whatever.

For now I’ll point you in the direction of my other, sponsored-er blog, featuring ongoing discussions of feminism, gender, and culture: rorie kelly on eveinhand.com. Eveinhand.com is a really cool site, and you should totally explore it. Though I could spend hours expounding upon my views of feminism-gender-and-culture, this blog (that you’re at right now) is going to be more all-purpose, all-rorie, all-the-time and much less focused.

Wow: so far I’ve told you this blog will be less creative, and less focused, than other blogs. I think I’ll stop right here in case there’s anyone who’s still interested in reading it. I’ll see you again soon.

<3

rorie